It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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