we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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