There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
