physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
