Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
