You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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