I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
