Me too!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize