Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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