I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
dude. I can hear the air.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
