i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize