People with herpes should wear stickers.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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