There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
