kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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