booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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