You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My breasts were aching with rage.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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