I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my shit smells like andre
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
