He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
