I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So many bounce houses so little time
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
