This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
