god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize