I heard we made out
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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