chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
