Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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