I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize