Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
