I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
