Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
