definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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