We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
