so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
