well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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