butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
