there was a trapeze. enough said
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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