I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
