So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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