so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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