its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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