The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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