You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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