Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
