so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize