He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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