either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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