im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
