Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
