i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
