i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
