Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
