if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
