She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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