You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Damn victory sex feels great
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize