once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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