Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
