she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
