Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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